Canada

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Due to a lack of written language in Canada (all Canadians are illiterate), most details about the country are sketchy at best. What we do know has been gathered from spies sent into dangerous Canadian soil disguised as moose.


[edit] Facts

  • All Canadians have chlamydia, so it's a damn good thing they have nationalized health care
  • If you die in Canada, you die in real life
  • All Canadians are either hockey players or whores (if not both)
  • Canada is America's hat
  • "eh" is not a word
  • Canadians are afraid of running water and electricity
  • At any given time, an average Canadian's blood will be at least 30% maple syrup
  • Wearing a denim top with jeans (and sometimes even a denim jacket) is known as the 'Canadian Tuxedo', and should be greeted with "Hey Denim Dan, where'd you get the Canadian Tuxedo?"

[edit] Translations (Canadian to English)

  • Manitoba - Texas
  • Wayne Gretzky - Ken Griffy Jr.
  • Air Canada - United
  • Eh? - What I just said, is it not true?
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